Ex

There's a bomb,
In your chest.
(An unlikely friendship.)
Heart to explode.

Rereading V for at least the fifth time. It's one of the greatest books ever written.



Anxiously awaiting the movie and here's a review of it.

Manga: Essential or Disposable?

Taking the Brim __Took the Broom: re: survey (canada banana). Four games for poets.

You scored as Existentialism. Your life is guided by the concept of Existentialism: You choose the meaning and purpose of your life. �Man is condemned to be free; because once thrown into the world, he is responsible for everything he does.� �It is up to you to give [life] a meaning.� --Jean-Paul Sartre �It is man's natural sickness to believe that he possesses the Truth.� --Blaise Pascal More info at Arocoun's Wikipedia User Page... Existentialism 100% Hedonism 75% Utilitarianism 65% Justice (Fairness) 55% Strong Egoism 50% Apathy 50% Kantianism 25% Nihilism 20% Divine Command 0% What philosophy do you follow? (v1.03) created with QuizFarm.com

BORN DEAD. Haven't read Warren Ellis before?

You have now.

Stolen from James:

Nobius's Johari Window. The Johari Window is a model for mapping personality awareness. Mine is very consistent with other pesonality tests I've taken.

My window results.

I love Internet search engines and related tools. Here's a neat site for users of Google's Adsense. Find out the rank and cost of keywords. I tried V for Vendetta which came in at 11 cents a click through.

And another cool site Nichebot.

Seth's Blog: Clever radio riff: "Clever radio riff. Paul Adams wonders why radio stations can't ping you by sms or even phone (skype?) when they play a song you request. When was the last time a radio station cared about you? Or contacted you in a way you wanted to be contacted?"

Comic Book Resources - Comic Book News, Reviews and Commentary: "It's nice to be the creator of something. There are dozens of creators who have come and gone that made no lasting mark in the funnybook field. They came and went and their contributions will be all but forgotten because they left nothing they could call their own behind."

And this could be said about any creative act.

Some books we are fated to read, to feel, and to breathe. Alan Moore's A Disease of Language is yet another one of those books for me. The book contains a lengthy interview with Alan regarding the connections between creativity, language, and magic as well as illustrated versions of Moore's magic based performance pieces The Birth Caul and Snakes and Ladders. This is one of the most unique collections I have ever laid my hands on and I'll be rereading it very soon. You won't forget this one.

"Before history was written in stone and ink, some men wrote it in blood." --Warren Ellis

"Experience is one thing you can't get for nothing." --Oscar Wilde

In my last post, I mentioned that before the terrible days of 9-11, I had this nagging, persistent feeling of dread. I know I wasn't the only one the future was talking too. My friend and mentor NAME DELETED DUE TO NOSY NO GOODS had the same type of feeling if not more intense.

She would say to me, "Child I don't know what's happening but I'm getting the feeling God is telling me to move the family to a farm and be prepared. Something big is out there."

She was right. At the time I think she thought Revelations was upon us. I personally don't prescribe to the Bible as truth though I do believe very much in the Lord.

And that is a subject for another post.

What say you?

"Logic will get you from A to B. Imagination will take you everywhere." --Albert Einstein

There is clearly something more to dreams than the natural state of our brain processing feelings, imagination, and information while we sleep. But what exactly is that "something"? Have you ever had a dream that came true or at the very least has the symbolism?

When I was young, for several days I had a dream that consisted mostly of a cartoon of the Hulk crushing an engine on a space shuttle and it crashing. The cartoon really exists and for some reason it kept replaying in my mind. Nothing else unusual about it until on January 26th, 1986, the space shuttle Challenger blew up shortly after take off and killing all seven on board. I never had that dream again.

Coincidence?

Probably nothing more but then again...

In a more ominous dream. I dreamt I was playing football in the road with my childhood best friend Jeff Ambrose back on Maplewood Street where we grew up. Our game was interrupted by a Cessna plane falling straight from the sky and nose diving into the middle of our game. There was a huge "crack" sound as it hit (like a sound effect from an old 1950's Batman episode) the street and the wings fell off. The plane didn't blow up. It fell over with the cockpit facing right side up. The pilot was dead.

Again I had this dream several times until one morning I came home from work to the news of a jet slamming into the World Trade Center. And then another.

During the weeks before the September 11th attacks, I can't help but remember the sense of dread that surrounded me. The future was giving warning.

If we are more than our chemistry then so are dreams. What do you think?

"Ability is what you're capable of doing. Motivation determines what you do. Attitude determines how well you do it." --Raymond Chandler

I was so tired that I couldn't stay awake long enough to write down this dream. However, a small part of it still resonates in my head. I was a powerful wizard fighting battles and being chased by evil magicians. The books in my room came to life and tried to kill me-- flying off the shelves like missiles.

I never remember having a dream in black and white. In fact my dreams have vivid color and emotions. I've read that only ten percent of the world dreams in color and it usually signifies high functioning brain activity.

In other words, I'm very smart.

Nah...can't be true. :)

e-x-c-h-a-n-g-e-v-a-l-u-e-s. Bob Grumman, visual poet, interview.

NYC2123 - a graphic novel for the PSP. I love tech.

Make money sharing your expertise. Another good article on Squidoo.

Last night I had another Aikido based dream. Michael, Jerome, and I were practacing a technique from last Monday's class that I no longer remember. It involved blocking a punch, and then blocking a second punch and using that to guide your opponent to the ground. In real life, I kept messing up the second block and changing it into the techinique and I'm thinking it's because I'm not letting my instincts flow. The biggest thing about Aikido type techniques is being able to simply react without thought or fear. In the dream, I performed the technique flawlessly but only after I "listened" for the voice of Master Ueshiba.

Perhaps my dreams are talking to me. I've always denied my spirituality but not I'm beginning to wonder if that is a mistake. And if it is, how do I trust in the things I can not see.

I'm at the old I.J. Kim's Tae Kwon Do in Tallmadge (it's been closed for years) defending myself from a flying side kick performed by one of the black belts whose name I no longer remember. He's Korean and hasn't aged a bit--still fifteen years old. The first time he jumps at me, I fail to defend and side step in the nick of time just before his foot makes contact with me. If he'd hit me, my front rib cage would be sticking out my back. We try it again. The boy takes to the air. Confidence surrounds me but not in an arrogant way, more in a competent way. I know what I'm doing. I side step and use an Aikido technique. I hook his kicking leg with my right arm and push up and grab his shoulder with my left hand and push down. The boy is flat on his back in two seconds.

"Inhale the light..." --In Flames

"I will walk with my hands bound. I will walk with my face blood. I will walk with my shadow flag into your garden." --Pearl Jam



Thumb Sucker

Word cash price
Affection's pay.
--proximity to--
A pen infatuation.

Move with assassin
Kill speed.
Hear no heart.
Chase ghost static;
Fail you.

Electric spine thumb sucker.
(Red glow slurp.)
Womb with perfect view.
Another brand fascist born.

(know this)
We had every reason to
Be beautiful
Thinking
There is no Name.
Knowing
We can't sleep at night.

I was training an old neighbor of mine, Nicole Dack, at the phone center in my old department at work. We were talking about trucking and inside sales. She seemed to be learning quickly and interested in what I had to say. Nothing unusual about the dream at all. In fact it was rather dull.

Just got a copy of Alan Moore and Eddie Campbell's A Disease of Language. So new you can't even get it on Amazon yet.

Here's the synopsis: "The Birth Caul and Snakes & Ladders, Alan Moore'’s visionary, highly personal magic based performance art pieces as adapted by Eddie Campbell, are collected together for the first time ever in A Disease of Language. Along with an insightful and expansive interview with Moore conducted by Campbell, the creators of the multi-award winning From Hell, present an insight into the world of comics most revered author. Challenging, revealing, and totally captivating, A Disease of Language is for anyone with an interest in art, magic, history, love, sex, life, death, and everything in between."

The book has the exact look and feel of how I'd like my poetry to be collected and published. You know a book radiates "powerful read" when the comic dealer you bought it from flips through it to get one last look before putting the thing in your bag. :)

Another post inspired by James. If I keep doing this I think he's going to be charging me royalties.

I've been trying to log my dreams in my journal (which I always take to bed), unfortunately I usually only wake up to relieve myself. In the two minutes it takes I almost always forget everything dreamt. Once in awhile I do get lucky and here are a few dreams I've had recently

After having the first dream I'm going to tell you about, I had a Burger King craving so strong (like a bad nicotine fit) that it didn't subside for two days until I actually ate there. I dream about the King a lot. I suspect because it was my first job it symbolizes my overwhelming personal attribute of responsibility.

In dream number one, I had just went through the drive through at the local Burger King here in town (where I had my first management gig and was robbed at gun point) when out of no where the tornado sirens began whaling. I was eating in the car so I jumped out and ran into the restaurant. Everyone was screaming and running around frantically. The sky was blacker than night and the rain came pounding down. I felt an uncontrollably sense that my children were in danger and ran back out through the rain storm and got back into the car. I tried to drive home but the more I drove the farther away I was from home. The tornado passed over head and did a lot of damage but didn't harm me or my van. Then the sun quickly came out but I still couldn't get home. Amongst the ruins of town I found a working pay phone (I don't own a cell and the pay phone really exists) but there was no answer at home. I kept driving but home continued to get farther away. I've had this dream several times.

I've been having different variations of dream number two for months. In the dream, I didn't show up for work at Burger King one night not realizing I was scheduled. It was my second job. (I also worked BK as a second job for about three years.) I groveled with Lenora who was a co-manager at the store (but not my boss) so that I could keep my job, she was understanding and didn't fire me. I began working and for some reason there were extremely large white cafeteria style tables (like my elementary school had) in the middle of the front cash/bagging station area. A bunch of employees were sitting at the tables loitering, none of them were on break. All of them were done working for the day and were now just hanging out. One was smoking. For some odd reason, all of them were black. I asked them nicely to leave and was totally ignored so I threatened their employment and kicked all of them out.

The last dream was so real that I woke up with my heart pounding. My wife Kalisa, my brother Michael, my sister-in-law Cindy, my Dad (who passed away fifteen years ago), my mother, and Alyson Hannigan from Buffy the vampire slayer were all riding on a large Cedar Pointe type ferris wheel. We were on vacation in Vegas. Mom had said she had huge news for us. Her and Dad were holding hands like kids in puppy love. At the top of the wheel, she announced she was pregnant. From her purse, she pulled out congratulation cards. Smiling, she opened up one of them up and suddenly she bellowed out a huge sob and began shaking violent. Dad hugged her close, tears streamed from his eyes. I took the card from her and read it aloud. The words are seared in my head. It said, "That honeyed brown bitch that bled you is dead!" The dream faded to black immediately like the end of a violent horror film.

Someone beat me to creating an Aikido lens.

I've got it. Always had it. Every time I fall, you catch me... Every time I lose myself, you find me. My God." --SoIL

"The difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength,
not a lack of knowledge, but rather in a lack of will." -- Vince Lombardi

"The future doesn't just happen -- it's shaped by decisions." --Paul Tagliabue

Life is a funny thing. So, up and down. Success and failure. Cycles and such. I'm here. And well. Simply tired and pressed for time but when I start dreaming about writing, I know it's time to get some posts out.

I was awarded my black belt last week in Aikido. As my brother would say, "It is a lonely journey." And now that I've made it this far, I suspect it will be even more so. A black belt simply means you've mastered the basics. I surely have no plans of stopping my training now.

Since most of you reading this have never met me, I'll cue you in on a personal secret. I'm one of the most uncoordinated people ever to set foot on this planet. Genetics suck. But I never let a little thing like that stop me. Someone will always be better than you at everything you do. The key to all good things is perseverance and "personal best."

I'll be repeating myself to readers of my zine White Rabbit Fall! so I won't go to far into this topic but let me mention that it's this same stick-to-it-ness that has gotten me my new job as well.

The only thing that will ever hold you back... is yourself.

And now that I know I got "it", I will continue to improve my life.

I archived a bunch of my work over at my live journal. If you check it out and like any of it, please let me know. I'd also love to hear any ideas for improvements that you have. I need an editor man. :)

I'll be glad to send anyone interested complimentary copies of any of my zines and I'm beginning to work on my next collaborative one. Microzines are fun. Submissions always welcome, I'm looking for mostly poetry but will accept well written short fiction, quotes, and reviews of books, film, television, and music. I don't care if it's been published before either. I only care that it's good.

We're rotating shifts at work again so I have a longer weekend than normal but I've got to go. My son wants to play and that is the most important thing I have to do today.

"In my heart, you'll always stay forever young." --Rod Stewart

You know I'm going to ask it: What are you reading?

"We learn what poetry is - if we ever learn - by reading it." --T S Eliot

"Literature is mostly about having sex and not much about having children, life is the other way round." --David Lodge

Free copies of our poetry microzine Reno Shot: A Non Creative Garbage Special are still available. It's fun and tragic like only good poetry can be.

Free copies available to distros as well as flyer exchanges.

Contact: nobius AT gmail.com.

Sci Fi Wire -- The News Service of the Sci Fi Channel: "New Legion Titles Due Soon"